I’ve been running games since 2019 – the first time I played D&D was as the DM! If I had to summarise what you’re about to read, it would be thus: GMing is difficult and time consuming and filled with pitfalls of burnout and stress BUT (and it’s a big but) I love it. Being the Game Master asks you to both take control and relinquish it to your players. It’s an act of delegation. Being the Game Master has you look at your friends and ask “what kind of story would make you happy?” That, above all else, makes GMing an act of love.

I want to be very clear, before we continue, that this is how it works best for me. You probably have a very different philosophy and if so, I would love to hear about it! With that, let’s get into it.

Game Master vs Facilitator

There are a lot of terms for what we do. “Dungeon Master” is too system-specific, “Game Master” is…. Better. I prefer “Facilitator.”

Admittedly, I don’t really have a finger on the pulse of the discourse (intentionally), but I do feel like (anecdotally) there has always been a barrier between the Game Master and the players. Linguistically too – we capitalise the letters because Game Master is a defined role. To be clear, for me this barrier is most apparent when I am the Game Master. I used to feel such a weight of responsibility for the story and player enjoyment and everything.

So. “Facilitator.”

TTRPGs are not a solitary experience (unless you’re playing a solo RPG but that’s a different post). I’ve taken an approach of facilitating the game – guiding and helping it run smoothly – but not being in charge of it. Not only does it stave off burnout but also I enjoy giving my players more agency and impact on the story. I like spotlighting my friends and asking them “who is this person?” about an NPC or “where are we?” about a spontaneous place we have arrived at.

In practice, this does actually require quite a bit of foreplanning and skill. So, these are the things that are important to me when I’m running games.

What I Value As A Facilitator

If you’re trying to let go of control in your games, you gotta be a fan of your players and their characters. There is no delegation without trust. I take it a little further – there is no point sitting down at my table if you are not willing to tell a story.

I’ve just realised – in real time as I wrote that last paragraph – how much overlap there is between the skills of a good teacher and good facilitator. What if a player is willing but they don’t know how? What if a player has never been given narrative control and they don’t know they can have it.

Empathy, patience, encouragement. Knowing how to lead by example. It’s not just a matter of ‘yes, and’-ing, you also need to know how to say “yes. What else?” to encourage players to think deeper about their choices and the knockon effects.

There’s such a joy in watching newer players roleplay for the first time. In watching D&D diehards enjoy a small indie game built around a specific vibe or experience.

It’s funny. No matter how much I crash and burn as a teacher, I find that I like to be one in everything I do. A classroom is not the only place where learning can take place.

I’ve also found that my story has to be flexible. Anyone who runs a sandbox-y campaign knows this; you need hooks. Scatter a bunch of story options around a world and see what sticks. Having said this, I do like my plotpoints. In my home game, my players are seeking the aid of a powerful witch for story reasons. This was a somewhat railroaded plot point – I told them they needed to go and they are now going. But the journey there can be all them. I can ask “what sort of experience do you want” and they’ll tell me and we’ll work together to create it.

Trying to plan every single moment is how I burnt out in the first place. Now I want my stories to be looser with space for player input and, importantly, player change. I am not the only writer of this book. It should change to fit the sound of my players’ voices.

What I Value As A Facilitator (For Actual Play)

Actual play shifts my priorities slightly. My players are professionals – I know I don’t need to hold their hands as much to get them to take charge of a story.

The complexity comes in the balance of having a flexible story – with surprises and all that good stuff – while also being a good watch for the audience AND fitting into a predetermined show length.

This is where I get a little controversial. I have realised that when I am the GM for an actual play, I want zero player secrets. Your characters can have secrets but everyone at the table should know them so that they can be played up and we’re all thinking about when those secrets can best be revealed. If we only have a limited amount of time, it needs to be used thoughtfully. There is no thoughtful anything when the players do not have all the information.

I also like to give my players a rundown of what beats I expect to happen and signal ahead of time when there is downtime or a more open choice of what to do. This is especially important with one shots but it holds true for multi-episode campaigns. Sharing these plot points allows me to hear feedback from the players before we go live and is yet another chance for players to get more information to make thoughtful choices.

The biggest drawback I can think of is that it introduces a risk of metagaming but, again, performers in an actual play are professionals creating a story for an audience. Metagaming, in service of a better story, is better than not caring for it at all.

Why Have I Written Any Of This?

Great question!

I am hopefully going to be much more involved in TTRPG stuff going forward. I have an upcoming actual play campaign upcoming (I don’t know how much I’m allowed to say at this point, but follow on BlueSky if you want updates I guess). I’ve also started running games via StartPlaying Games.

I guess it’s been on the brain – my GMing style, what I value, what I want from my table. I hope it has made you think about these things for yourself.

I hope you take a piece of these thoughts with you, as you go on to tell great stories.

Honourable Mentions

This post has gone through so many iterations and has taken me actual years to write. I wanted to talk about some of the people who gave me a place in this industry and helped me grow.

Huetopia – the first community I joined where I started to make friends and got my beak wet in a few charity games! Special shout out to Jess, everyone’s GOAT.

Dusty (via Well Seasoned Stories) – another place I was invited to play in a bunch of one shots. (Check out all of their current projects here)

Nameless Domain – I don’t think anything is currently happening under this banner but I love my friends!!!!

Nathan/TheNeonCaster – very much an inspiration when I first started writing my own games. Back City of Espers NOW!!!!!!!!

Valdrianth – I ran my first ever game (The Rifts) on Val’s channel. There is also something brewing – follow their Twitch to see more.